I find myself about to use what I call the Black Button Of Destiny (BBOD). This button comes in many different guises but its function remains the same all over the world.

On my keyboard, the BBOD sits smugly to the right of the # key. I am nearly finished a submission and I am getting slightly nervous about the last step I need to take. The step we all inhale through closed teeth or squeeze our eyes shut or cross our fingers but mainly we fall apart to this step. It robs us of any shred of normality we had held up until that moment and it leaves us wobbling all over the place trying to second guess what the recipient will think.

I need to send my words out into the great big bad world-wide web and the only way I can do that is by pressing the button. ENTER it says. I re-consider and sit back in my chair. I reason with myself.  Some days I can hear it sneer at me as if it’s saying “Oh look, you pressed me by mistake now your work/e-mail/list has gone and it’s not ready yet”.  I shudder and scream inside when I realise the talking plastic shape maybe right. Did I press the BBOD when I didn’t mean to? I hang my head in shame and think about calling the recipient…and say what? I am obviously inept at typing so can you please consider my submission for publication. I don’t think so.

No, I do what every normal (is there such a thing?) person does and I weep into my tea. I dunk a fourth biscuit in (what? blood sugar levels are at an all-time low at this point in my day) and sook the chocolatey goodness with all my might. Life doesn’t seem so bad after all.

Now that I have sugary stamina I slowly select the SENT folder. I rejoice when I see the dark bold letters of DRAFTS with a wee (1) beside it. It peers up at me wondering where I have been for the last ten minutes. If I could I would cuddle it and tell it that I love it and will never leave it alone again.

I do a final edit and with a slow release of breath – I press send. The BBOD has been touched and there is no turning back now.

You may mock me oh plastic one but it is I who rule the keyboards in this house!

 

8 Comments



  3. I can hear myself saying…press it press it. You can do it! Ha ha. Keep being brave and strong girlfriend x

  4. I so very rarely visit Facebook these days. When I do there is invariably a message or two.If I select one to answer it brings up a box on screen rather than the old messages folder I used to get. Quite simply- ME NO LIKE IT. In order to answer I have to scroll in this tiny box and add my answer into an even smaller box below.Like most people ( I hope) I press the return key to start a new paragraph. Does it do that? Does it heck ! It sends the message which then makes no sense and I have to start typing again.

    I have found that I have to create spaces along the line until my next letter forces a new line and I can continue. Because of that I find myself not using the BBOD to change line any more and I use the cursor to press send instead of the BBOD. Does that make me safer? NO !!!! The BBOD appears to be movable.. Now when I want to change font or font size my cursor wanders up and presses send in error so some poor soul now receives either a blank missive or one that’s come to an abrupt end so they think I’m upset……

    Since I know you to be thorough I’m sure there’s less chance of you proving you’re a plank than me so people will understand you’ve had a wee accident whereas with me they’ve just come to expect the unexpected.
    I hope you’re having a good break with the boys and your sanity levels are still high.
    xxx Sending Massive Hugs xxx

    1. Author

      I think everyone can relate to the Facebook issue you raise above. I got wise to its necessary evil ways and prefer Twitter to get my message across! My sanity levels are still fine thanks David, although I narrowly missed Death by Golf Club today – joyous! 🙂

    1. Author

      It’s amazing how often I now call it the BBOD – I think I have converted my brain 🙂