The Black Button of Destiny (BBOD)

I find myself about to use what I call the Black Button Of Destiny (BBOD). This button comes in many different guises but its function remains the same all over the world.

On my keyboard, the BBOD sits smugly to the right of the # key. I am nearly finished a submission and I am getting slightly nervous about the last step I need to take. The step we all inhale through closed teeth or squeeze our eyes shut or cross our fingers but mainly we fall apart to this step. It robs us of any shred of normality we had held up until that moment and it leaves us wobbling all over the place trying to second guess what the recipient will think.

I need to send my words out into the great big bad world-wide web and the only way I can do that is by pressing the button. ENTER it says. I re-consider and sit back in my chair. I reason with myself.  Some days I can hear it sneer at me as if it’s saying “Oh look, you pressed me by mistake now your work/e-mail/list has gone and it’s not ready yet”.  I shudder and scream inside when I realise the talking plastic shape maybe right. Did I press the BBOD when I didn’t mean to? I hang my head in shame and think about calling the recipient…and say what? I am obviously inept at typing so can you please consider my submission for publication. I don’t think so.

No, I do what every normal (is there such a thing?) person does and I weep into my tea. I dunk a fourth biscuit in (what? blood sugar levels are at an all-time low at this point in my day) and sook the chocolatey goodness with all my might. Life doesn’t seem so bad after all.

Now that I have sugary stamina I slowly select the SENT folder. I rejoice when I see the dark bold letters of DRAFTS with a wee (1) beside it. It peers up at me wondering where I have been for the last ten minutes. If I could I would cuddle it and tell it that I love it and will never leave it alone again.

I do a final edit and with a slow release of breath – I press send. The BBOD has been touched and there is no turning back now.

You may mock me oh plastic one but it is I who rule the keyboards in this house!